Tuesday, April 08, 2008

A Big Man

It takes a big man to admit he was wrong, but I'm not going to make Russell T Davies do that.

It's enough for me to know that the reason that Partners in Crime, the opening story in season 30 of Doctor Who, was so good was because Mr Davies finally took the time to read this blog, and then took on board the reasoned and - I hope - constructive criticism of his previous scripts for the series.

No, I'm big enough for both of us and I'm willing to forego an apology just so long as Davies continues to play to his strengths (such as they are). So...

...no more over-reaching himself by trying to make Great Big Points about The Human Condition. That way leads otherwise sane individuals to claim that, unlike every single other episode of Doctor Who ever, the episode in question isn't meant to be taken literally but is instead a metaphor/myth/gunny sack full of fairy dust.

...no more mad obsession with shagging, as though the only possible reaction for anyone meeting anyone else is an immediate desire to root about in his or her pants, regardless of the fact that some people don't actually fancy everybody they meet.

...no more raking out bad fan-fiction he wrote when he was 13 about the Cybermen fighting the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles...Daleks and the Daleks totally winning and then the Howard Jones...David Tennant Doctor losing the love of his life, Russ...eh, Rose.

...no more slightly offensive preference for making every disabled person a bad guy. See also fat people and the ugly. Basically, an ugly fat cripple should be the next Doctor (somebody email Heather Mills McCartney and tell her to start filling her face with deep fried Mars Bars, please. She needs the work nowadays.).

...finally, no more attempts at including proper plots. He always forgets what he's doing half way through, with the result that the finished script makes no sense at all and is useful only as a mental exercise for Simon Bucher-Jones, the world's greatest plot hole fixer*

If he does that, and continues to churn out enjoyable, if daft, scripts with plots so slight that there's no room for messing them up and no sex and romance to clutter proceedings - in short, if he continues to write things like Partners in Crime - then he need never apologise.

Cos doing exactly as you're told by a complete stranger on an obscure and moany weblog means never having to say you're sorry...

* Really, I'm not kidding - some of his solutions for RTD plot holes are just brilliant, and often more enjoyable than the actual story

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Blogger SAF said...

Well, despite your minor brain malfunction in actually liking Partners In Crime ;) I can at least a) agree entirely with you about SBJ's talents as a plot-fixer and b) tell you your blog posts still have a knack for making me laugh. And in a good way too :)

6:57 pm  
Blogger TimeWarden said...

Can Heather Mills afford deep fried Mars Bars?

12:50 am  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

Tim: "Can Heather Mills afford deep fried Mars Bars?"

Well, £25 million will buy a lot of sweeties, even nowadays :)

8:25 am  
Blogger Scott Liddell said...

saf: "your blog posts still have a knack for making me laugh"

Oh please don't tell him he's funny, I have to put up with it in person doncha know...

12:13 pm  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

Scott:"Oh please don't tell him he's funny, I have to put up with it in person doncha know..."

Watch it or I'll stop wasting good material on you!

1:01 pm  
Blogger SAF said...

Scott: "Oh please don't tell him he's funny, I have to put up with it in person doncha know..."

Lol. There, FWIW, you're funny too :)

3:04 pm  

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