Monday, December 03, 2007


As my series of Facebook images from the seventies demonstrate, I am utterly without shame.

Reproduced below, therefore, is the text of the only poem I have ever knowingly written, discovered at the weekend on the back of postcard in a box in the attic eaves. IIRC, I was intending to give the poem to a girl I knew at Uni in an effort to woo her into bed. Presumably I thought better of giving her the poem, and I certainly never managed the wooing either.

Still, in a world where Richard Ayoade continues to get work and Joe Lidster* is going to write an episode of Torchwood, lack of talent is no barrier to success and my few poorly scanning lines are probably on a par with Shakespeare's Sonnets.

[clears throat]

"Where else could I lie amidst such beauty,
As in my lover's arms?
Where else could I hear sounds slip so sweetly
As from her subtle tongue?
For my love is nothing like
Other butterflies I've pinned,
But a mockingbird, high in the hills,
Whistling to the wind."

I thank you...

[exits, pursued by a bear]

* Who I'm sure is a lovely person otherwise (this is for the benefit of Mondy, who keeps telling me that he is)
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Blogger Scott Liddell said...

Goes to online T-Shirt provider...

9:42 pm  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

I did mention that the post was shameless, I think?

9:54 pm  
Blogger goofy said...

butterflies you've pinned, eh

5:38 pm  
Blogger IZP said...

Other butterflies I've mounted
But I don't want to brag
I bet there's loads, not that I've counted,
That I've collected in a bag.
These beauties I'd eschew
For your subtle tongue and obvious rack.
If I could just bag you
I'd empty out my sack.

5:58 pm  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

John wrote: "butterflies you've pinned, eh"

Yeah, now I think about it, it does have a slightly iffy subtext, doesn't it? :)

11:00 am  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

Ian wrote: A revolting poem

That's...very graphic Ia - thanks for sharing :-)

11:02 am  
Blogger IZP said...

All in the mind of the reader. I think Goofy has led you to over-interpret my sweet and simplistic butterfly collecting metaphor.

11:34 am  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

Ah, sorry Ian - John has that unfortunate effect of dragging my mind into the gutter.

I should have known better of a man who's met Sykes :)

11:49 am  
Blogger SAF said...

I'm away from people's blogs for all of a few weeks and everyone's breaking out in poetry. :)

5:12 pm  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

I know - for all my claims of shamelessness I am vaguely embarassed by the fact I put a poem online.

It doesn't fit my testosterone fuled image, for a start :)

9:12 pm  

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