Tuesday, June 10, 2008

For No-One

In an unexpected change from the usual witterings about Doctor Who and old telly, this is going to be one of those posts no-one ever reads about what I've been doing lately.

I've been on holiday in Florida, spending a week touring the state and then a week in Orlando doing the theme park thang. It was fabulous, a really, really great holiday - and that in spite of the fact that it was in the company of my entire extended family.

Highlights included:
  • Getting sun poisoning on our first day there, after my beloved daughter removed the towel I had over my legs whilst sunbathing on Clearwater Beach (I'd been jet ski-ing and thought my sun tan lotion might have been rubbed off) in order to dry her face. Actual Sun Poisoning! How messed up does that sound? Allergic to the sun! I expect to break out in People Poisoning any time now, and am confident I'll be living inside a plastic bubble by the end of the decade.
  • Getting invited to a lesbian wedding (which sadly we couldn't attend, as we were moving on that day). 'Looks like Harold Lloyd marrying Shrek' someone was heard to remark, but lovely people nonetheless.
  • Walking naked and drunk along Cocoa Beach
  • Spending a week in the villa Jodie Marsh had her honeymoon in (all the more interesting once someone explained to me who Jodie Marsh actually was - a sort of cut-price Jordan, if you imagine such a thing being suffered to live and not being exposed on a hillside as would seem natural)
  • Getting lost in downtown Tampa in the early hours of the morning and twatting the curb with the car in a fit of pique
  • Meeting a massive pesticide mutated redneck named after Winston Churchill who congratulated me on 'that guy at Scotland Airport kicking shit out of those muslimics' and further promised that, were there ever another 911 style terrorist attack, he personally would shoot the first American of arabian descent he met (that one's more a point of horror struck fascination than a highlight, though J bursting into his hotel room whilst drunk to lambast him for finishing her Jack Daniels was very funny)
  • Watching the shuttle launch live. Genuinely awe-inspiring.
Other than that, I went on an upside rollercoaster for the first time ever (can't say I enjoyed it much), went on the brilliant new Simpsons simulator ride and decided that Revenge of the Mummy is the best ride in Orlando.

Also a Tom Tom is the best thing ever.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Greg McElhatton said...

Did redneck Winston rub off on you, with your nude sojourn down Cocoa Beach? Because, um, glass houses and all that... ;)

2:16 pm  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

Are you suggesting my walking nude on the beach is a source of horror struck fascination?! :)

Hmm, I take your point...

2:20 pm  
Blogger SAF said...

Wow, must be difficult to pick a favourite highlight from that lot :)

Meanwhile, can I take it you didn't have a Tom Tom in downtown Tampa?

9:05 pm  
Blogger Stuart Douglas said...

Ah no - that would be something we bought *because* of Tampa :)

9:07 pm  

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